Energy (free write no. 2)

“Hot damn ho, here we go again.
Light as a rock, bitch. Hard as a cock, bitch.
This shit knock for blocks through hardtops
in the parkin’ lots, where my nigga Rock like to spark-a-lot.
My Brook-lyn style speak for itself.
Like a wrestler, another notch under my belt.
The embezzler, chrome treasurer,
the U-N-O competitor, I’m ten steps ahead of ya.”

– Lil’ Kim, “Quiet Storm” remix w/Mobb Deep.
(For more on what this song means to me, read “Music Coursing Through My Veins”.)

There is an energy that connects all of us and everything we come into contact with. If you can get close enough to touch someone, you can change them just by being that near to them. Call it magnetism or attraction – what you want is drawn to you in direct proportion to how much you want it. The fact that I need a name for it prevents me from trying to talk about it, so the lesson or the message eludes me. But other people who have this knowledge and ability know what I’m talking about without needing a label.

This energy boils down to belief. Some call this energy, this belief “faith.” Some call it a mantra. Some call it an affirmation. I (and I am not the only one) call it manifestation. There’s a documentary about it and it costs you $45 to try and learn something from it that I’m not sure can be taught. I’d tell you what the name of the documentary is, but like I said I’m not sure I believe in what it has to offer and besides, I haven’t seen it yet.

When you are able to focus on a goal or a cause, when you can actually fucking visualize the end result that you are after . . . you have almost achieved the goal without any measurable effort. And then when you are willing to prove how much you want something and are willing to put in the work to get yourself there, you can illustrate the meaning of “self-fulfilling prophecy.”

I think we all have a higher consciousness that could be so powerful if we knew how to access it. But instead of saying I’m psychic, I will say that I can consistently see an end result and then work to make it happen. Those end results become reality often enough that I feel like I can see my future. In actuality, I am creating my future. Right now, at this very moment, I can see that future as clear as day.

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