Black Beauty and the AK-47. (Photo post.)

“I may be firing an AK-47 for the first time this weekend, along with some other rifles. I only have experience with handguns. Is there anything I can do or wear to avoid major bruising from the recoil, or should I just buck up and wear my bruises with pride?” – Me, Tuesday, November 07, 2006

“Just like with sex, it’s all in how you mount the weapon. Make sure to keep the rifle tucked into your shoulder’s pocket, the hollow spot just below the collarbone and inside the shoulder joint where there is nothing but muscle. Pull the stock firmly in and blaze away . . .

I never discolor because my gun mount is flawless. Guys that turn black and blue are guys with a poor mount who let the stock slap them in the shoulder with every shot.” – El Supremo, Tuesday, November 07, 2006


“I bruise really easily, though. I’m assuming I’m going to get messed up just because this is my first time. I’m going to keep this in mind, though, so thanks.

The others I’ll be working with are an M1A National Match .308, M1A SOCOM .308, a Springfield Armory 1911 Long-Slide .45 Super and an H&K USP .45. I asked that they bring the AK-47, just so I can say I did it. I am so excited.” – Me, Tuesday, November 07

M1A SOCOM .308 (AKA "Black Beauty") on the far left, M1A National Match .308 (AKA,"The Redeemer") in the middle, AK-47 on the right.

M1A SOCOM .308 (AKA "Black Beauty") on the far left, M1A National Match .308 (AKA,"The Redeemer") in the middle, AK-47 on the right.

“5 a.m.
Friday morning
Thursday night
Far from sleep
I’m still up and driving
Can’t go home
So I’ll just change direction
Cause they’ll soon know where I live
And I wanna live . . .” Tori Amos, “Me and a Gun”

Explosions of light at the tip of the nozzle. Shells discharging like golden grasshoppers from the magazine. The smell of gunpowder. With the muffs on, all you hear is the sound of your own heart beating . . . and the boom from that weapon, now an extension of your own body.

Our Host:”This one is loud and aggressive.” Me:”Oh, perfect. Just how I like it.”

“Me and a gun
and a man
On my back
But I haven’t seen Barbados,
So I must get out of this” Tori Amos

 Springfield Armory 1911 Long-Slide .45 Super

Springfield Armory 1911 Long-Slide .45 Super




Not bad for a first-timer. I'm getting better.

Not bad for a first-timer. I'm getting better.

My friends were very patient with me while I switched back and forth between the Springfield and the H&K until I got the shot I wanted.

Final results
Rifles: 60 percent accuracy at 100 yards, 80 percent accuracy at 50 yards
Handguns: Well, there’s my target above. In all fairness, I only got three of those shots dead center from 50 yards (the target was on a t-shirt, and the rest of my shots made a ring around the target on the shirt). The rest of the shots on the target were at close range, because I wanted it dead before I left.

Rifle: The AK, and then “Black Beauty” (the M1A SOCOM .308).
Handgun: Springfield. I was more accurate with the H&K (very similar to the Glock .45, which I’m comfortable with) but the Springfield just felt better.

Look for parts of this blog to show up again in a month or two. There’s much more to the story.

Disclaimer bullsh*t: These weapons belong to a licensed owner who just so happens to know what the f*ck he’s doing. We observed all safety and legal regulations at an outdoor sportsman’s club. (Edit: In case I could be any more clear . . . regarding the first photo, yes it was pointed downrange, the safety was on, and no one was in front of me. I mean, really. Would you stand in front me when I’m carrying an assault rifle?)

Thank you, veterans and current enlisted, for defending our right to bear arms.


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