Tag Archives: Friends

In Loving Memory

“Or must I say the streets are bare unless it is your door I face …” – June Jordan, Sunflower Sonnet Number One

I lost one of my best friends this week. Tim was a badass. He and I were friends the last two years of high school, and he had a big part in helping me be the independent woman I wanted to be. He and another friend, Derek, they were fans of critical thinking and that’s something that had been missing from my education up to that date. I can’t thank him enough for that.

Tim was gorgeous, but we both knew nothing like that would ever happen between us. He became a rock, the person I could and would talk to about anything.

What I remember most: His blue, smiling eyes, how much he made people laugh, how his parting advice in my senior yearbook was “stay away from boys with jeeps” (he was one, by the way) and how much he loved his motorcycle.

That I, we, lost him in a motorcycle accident seems incomprehensible. He survived 9/11 only to die “doing what he loved.” He had a wife Amy, who we went to school with, and two young sons. Their uncle asked people to share stories about Tim so they could tell the boys. So, below is my letter to his sons.

I love you, Tim. Thank you for giving us the most you could in the time you were here. I know you loved living as much as I do, and I promise to LIVE HARDER for you.

My best friend in high school, Tim Boughter.

In Loving Memory

Dear Beau & Jake:

Your daddy was awesome. He and I were best friends the last two years of high school. We met because we were in all of the advanced classes together. Tim was one of the smartest kids in school. You should know that, because he’d want you to know that you two are bright and special, too.

So many people loved your daddy. He was kind, inquisitive and mischievous. You know, a little bit of a troublemaker. We had a chemistry lab together and one time, when we partnered up for an experiment with potassium, he broke the rules on purpose. You’re not supposed to get the potassium wet. But Tim wanted to see would happen if he picked up the chunk of potassium with wet tweezers. He caused a small explosion, burning a hole in the paper and probably the lab table underneath. I still have the paper somewhere. It has a K, the symbol for potassium, and then a giant hole burnt into it.

Tim was so sweet, but I think sometimes he just liked to shake things up to make sure life stayed fun. One time, him and another close friend Derek (THE smartest kid in our class) did something to get themselves suspended for a week. I really don’t remember what they did, but it was pretty amusing to me since Tim and our Valedictorian were otherwise harmless.

Given that we were all looking forward to college, Tim and Derek couldn’t let being suspended keep them from getting their schoolwork done. So, every day after school, I’d let Tim know what they missed and what the assignments were. We all graduated, of course, though I don’t think any of us three went where we thought we’d go for school. Tim wanted to be at Pepperdine but wound up finishing at Penn State. I was supposed to go to NYU, but then Derek and I both wound up at the University of New Hampshire.

After that, we lost touch. I became a journalist. Tim, who had owned his own company since I met him, continued on his path as an entrepreneur … consulting to other companies and helping them build the systems they needed to work properly. He lived in NYC for a short while, but your family can tell you about that.

I haven’t seen your daddy since we finally reconnected at our high school reunion. Your mom was there, too. They were happy and we all had a good time. Neither of you had been born yet. Two weeks later, I moved to NYC.

Tim and I stayed in touch here and there afterwards. I never expected to get a phone call saying he’s not here anymore.

I’m so sorry you didn’t get more time with your daddy. He was an amazing man. Gentle, smart and FUNNY. And he loved you two so much. You were his world.

So, know that he loves you. He’s probably looking out for you right now.

Love,
Emily, Tim’s old friend

Amazing Friends

I am just blown away by the generosity and love my friends showed me and my roommate Katie last weekend at our house party and the inaugural Chillhouse bash.

It was amazing, amazing, amazing. From friends showing up early and pitching in with getting ready, to my roommate’s fiance shoveling the snow in the backyard, to Patrice doing the Cheesecake Dance at the end of the night and all the funny moments that happened that night, I was so happy and so pleased by the feelings of love in the house. That’s what made it a warm house.

There were a few milestones that day. One: I added my place as a venue to Foursquare. I had said I wouldn’t when I moved in due to privacy issues. I nixed that problem by not using my real address and instead using the address of the childhood home of one of my favorite musicians: The Notorious BIG. Benefits: Seeing a visual representation of the friends who’ve been to my house. Also fun: People adding tips on what you can find at my place, including boobs. Nice. Continue reading

I Excel at Brunching

One of my very favorite things in the world is brunch. It’s not a meal. It’s a lifestyle. My last relationship actually started after one particularly memorable brunch with friends.

Flourless chocolate cake at Chez Oskar, my favorite summertime brunch spot

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Twitter: Birds of a Feather Helping One Chick Take Off … Literally

I’m a passionate user of the social networking site, Twitter. I’ve been sharing short, personal updates on my life, AKA “tweeting” at @EmilysPearl since March 7, 2007 and on a separate account for work (@ECava) since September 2008.

People frequently ask me why I use Twitter. Because the site limits updates to 140 characters or less, people seem to enter the discussion with the viewpoint that they could get the same mileage out of scanning friends’ Facebook status updates, reading their blogs or shooting them a text message.

I have one recent story that illustrates both the beauty and utility of Twitter in my own life.

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How a Crumble Brought us Together

I have been following several food writers for years, many of them via their food blogs or books (or both). People who say blogs are killing books or newspapers are silly. Blogs aren’t killing anything. Lack of high-quality, relevant content are. I have purchased – paid cash money – for at least 6 books in the past few years from authors I first discovered through their blog, and half of those are cookbooks. This isn’t counting probably 15 more books I’ve purchased on the recommendation of bloggers I trust.

One of those three cookbooks is Gluten-Free Girl: How I Found the Food That Loves Me Back…And How You Can Too by Shauna James Ahern. I’ve been reading Shauna’s blog since a few months after she started writing in 2005. I was drawn to the site because of her gorgeous photos and lyrical writing style. She came across as an incredibly positive person, and I enjoyed her posts on a consistent basis. Continue reading

Come Cheer Me On at The “Most Delicious Food Safari Ever!”

The “photogenic food contest” I participated in the Sunday after Christmas was one of the crazier things I’ve done here in New York, right up there with being maid of honor at a Halloween wedding conducted by 13 witches or the weekend I spent helping Neil Strauss with a pick-up artists’ convention in 2007.

I had no idea what I was getting into. I had just got home tipsy from a fun dinner with a friend. My holiday vacation had just begun. I was laying in bed with my iPhone, scrolling through email when I saw a note from my friend Cathy Erway. She wrote those of us on the NYC Food Bloggers’ mailing list about a fun contest she was co-hosting with a group of amateur photographers called Photojojo and a couple of local supper clubs. Continue reading

Shove It.

Just a quick heads up – I found out last Tuesday that I needed to find a new apt. by Sept. 1. My roommate’s allergic to my cat and she’s the one who’s on the lease, so I’m out. I’ve been thinking and talking about moving for a while. I hate commuting, and I wanted to be closer to work. But I also love my neighborhood and being a Brooklynite.

God provides: I emailed someone about an apt. Thursday night, heard back from her Friday, saw the apartment Sat. morning before I headed to the beach and by the time I got home from the beach I had a new apartment and an appointment to sign the lease Sunday morning. And it’s in my neighborhood in Brooklyn, but only a half hour from my office in the city. Continue reading