A back room full of attractive, driven people got together Monday night over platters of roasted cauliflower and beer-braised chicken for an “Essay Club” (less commitment than a book club) about “Women in Charge.” I can’t remember the last time I had a chance to talk at length with smart people about one focused topic, and it was valuable time (reading the assigned essays in advance, the conversation itself, and the thoughts I keep coming back to in the wake of it).

At my end of the table, we had to keeping calling ourselves back to the fact that this is who we are in the conversation: three women with advanced degrees joined by two men who have founded startups and led companies, all of us living in New York City. Life does not suck for us — not even a little bit — when it comes to what and how we’re doing professionally right this moment.

And yet, we worry about why more women aren’t in charge, who is in charge and how to get more of us in those roles. We wonder how we can duck any curveballs about to be lobbied our way in the workplace.

Read the rest of my post over on Medium.

Photo credit: Chris Gold on Flickr

While trying to figure out what my own “love language” is, I’ve been trying to remember what I do to make myself feel loved and cared for (beyond the priorities of sleep, working out, a healthy way of eating and a clean/organized home).

It turns out that my love language is gifts, and I do buy myself gifts when I’m feeling blue, ecstatically happy, celebrating closing a deal or feeling stressed out. And we’re not talking “retail therapy.” I don’t go bonkers on clothes and shoes (though I’d have such a great wardrobe if I did).

No, I either buy myself flowers or take myself out to a special meal or get stuff to make a great dinner and cocktails at home.

Tonight, I made a beehive to the fancy local grocer and picked up some ingredients to make grapefruit margaritas and a bleu cheese, walnut and mushroom tart.

How do you take care of yourself? Do you have any rituals that are sure to cheer you up or make you happy?

In my dream, I’m packing up those last essentials … toothbrush, a few pairs of shoes. In the cleaned fridge remain only a half-full gallon of spring water and the last two eggs in the carton.

My mind is helping me clean house after closing a door I’d, we’d, kept barely open with our foot for months. I was tired of living there alone.

I woke up from the dream to an email response that I was waiting for. And now my dream is calling me back to go sweep one last time, check all the corners and closets, pack up the cat and look around and smile before I back out of the room and close that door.

A woman was speaking to him. I overheard her saying she booked talent at such and such place and that she’d tell them about him. As I moved further down the platform, behind me I heard her ask him, “What’s your name again?”

He launched into another song as I found a spot on the platform. His voice was low and soft, the strumming of his guitar a light, silk-like backdrop for sound waves the color of a good chocolate. I didn’t recognize the song but it was beautiful in his voice. After a break in the song, all of a moment, a woman’s voice joined in for the chorus.

I peeked back from behind a column, and it’s the same woman he’d been speaking to when I walked past. And her voice was strong, clear like a bell and deeply melodic. She didn’t ask for permission. She just sang. Across the platform, I caught a man shaking his head and smiling in wonder as he likely thought, “New York, I love you.”

They wrapped up the song together and I looked back again. We, the people on the platform, shared a round of applause for the impromptu duo. The busker smiled broadly and stomped, blown away by the random stranger’s voice. A beat later and he was kneeling down next to where she sat on the bench, exchanging telephone numbers.

As the train on the opposite platform departed, the busker eased into Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together.” His new lady friend’s voice joined in again at the chorus, and her voice seemed to agree with the song. Then our train pulled into the station and I boarded thinking, “I love you, New York.”

And I rode home thinking about how many people living here this weekend thought, felt, wrote that same thing.

All these love letters.

Photo credit: j / f / photos on Flickr

After his story today, he took us into practice by asking the usual question: “Please let me know if anyone has any injuries or physical issues I can help you with.”

For once, I wanted to pipe up and say, “I have an emotional injury.” I’m going through a rough transition in my life right now and I have some emotional work to do. That’s the stuff I address through yoga. I get on the mat, put my hands on the ground and give my mind the space it needs to wrap around my life. To process.

After seven months of regular yoga (and that after a decade of trying to find a type of yoga I enjoyed), I feel less angry when I didn’t even know I was angry to begin with. I have less stress but also more clarity about areas of my life that have to change.

Jordan shared with us about his time rooting around yesterday on his farm upstate where he’s been growing all manner of vegetables: carrots, beets, squash and tomatoes. With all of those, a farmer can see evidence of their labor as the hints of the vegetable push through the dirt or blossom on the vine.

After almost 100 days in the ground, his sweet potatoes still showed no sign of progress. He’d never grown potatoes before and admitted the sweet potato patch was the hairiest. Snakes and frogs had taken up residence in the overgrowth. Yesterday, he decided to just dig in and root around to see if he could feel anything.

From my yoga mat at my favorite spot in the front right-hand corner of the room, I watched as he reached behind his back and then held up the largest sweet potato I’ve ever seen. He harvested about half the patch yesterday and pulled up 60 sweet potatoes.

He drew for us a parallel between growing potatoes and our yoga practice. One can do yoga for months or years without seeing the real fruits of the work. Sure, your butt might get a little boost and you might feel more flexible.

However, (at least for me) the real results of the daily practice are the feeling of honoring a personal ritual, finding my center and feeling more calm and patient. One may practice for a long spell before feeling and seeing this inward work show itself in our day-to-day lives.

So, I’ll keep practicing. Yoga isn’t all about having a flexible body. It’s also about having a flexible and resilient heart.

I saw them on an early evening walk tonight. There were at least five more versions, but these were my favorites.

“Take me: Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure my time.”

“Take me: Neither you nor I are ready to meet.”

“Take me: The first time I didn’t know you. The second time I did.”

There’s a reason they only come three to a box! I ate them today. I ate them all.*

I’d like to say that I would not have done that if I weren’t fighting off a cold (ice cream feels good with a sore throat) but that is a lie. When I have things in the house that are way outside what I generally eat, I typically eat them as fast as possible to get them out of my house. Because that’s a normal thing to do.

Just wanted to share.

* I didn’t eat them all at once. I had one for a snack, one for dinner and one a few hours later for dessert. Are you judging me?! I can hear you, you know.

If you saw the mention of my underground supper club Midnight Brunch in Time Out New York this week, you may be looking for a way to request an invitation to the events. The event announcement for our NYC event on June 23 goes out tomorrow (Thurs., May 31). You can read it here, and add yourself to the invite request list.

We’re so pleased to be named in The Best Brunch in NYC 2012 feature. Hope you can join us this summer!

For more Midnight Brunch, check out the event recaps on my food & cocktail site, Mouth of the Border.

Hi everyone! Been a little quiet here lately, but trust I’m cooking up a storm over at http://mouthoftheborder.com. Here’s a cute set of porcelain berry containers I found the other day at Anthropologie. What’s been inspiring you lately?

With the perfect basics to cover all the bases, I set out to plan my wardrobe for a week in New Orleans at Tales of the Cocktail. Time to get creative with my lingerie!

Tales is an industry conference for bartenders, bar owners, liquor brands, media and cocktail enthusiasts. My schedule this year is just as jam-packed as last year’s, and I want to be picture-perfect every day. I’ll be interviewing liquor brands for stories on my food and beverage site, and being photographed at dozens of industry events and seminars all week.

This year brings the added pressure of repping my own business. I’ll be pitching brands to work together on my supper club/event platform Midnight Brunch and other custom events.

Tuesday:

The conference officially begins  on Wednesday, but I arrived in town ahead of the crowds so I could settle in and map out my food agenda so I can highlight local eats on Mouth of the Border. Day One for me was yesterday (Tuesday), when a number of insider events take place.

Very simple, but so summery and lightweight. Perfect for the most low-key day of the week. Yesterday, I met a few NYC friends for a drink at the Swizzle Stick Bar before they checked into their rooms. I then headed to a Grey Goose vodka event. Afterwards, I saw Rebirth, a brass funk band, at the Maple Leaf.

To see more details on each of these bras, check out yesterday’s post.

Wednesday:

Today’s highlight, if the weather holds up, is Brugal Rum Poolside Cocktails on the rooftop at Hotel Monteleone. There will be “flowing white linen cabanas” a DJ, an “island-inspired menu” created by Saveur magazine and of course three bars serving up custom Brugal libations. Above my bikini and my new Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses.

Wednesday’s other fun events include a garden party with Zacapa Rum. I can either wear the striped dress to that party, or change into my first nighttime ensemble.

The evening’s festivities include the Beefeater Masquerade party and the Swinging ‘40’s Shore Leave Ball with Sailor Jerry Rum and other William Grant brands at National World War II Musuem. [Edit: I just found out the Beefeater party's dress code is black & white! So, I'll be wearing my polka-dotted day dress pictured further below, which has its own 40s flair, too.]

The dress above gives off that flirty, 40′s vibe and I can’t wait to show it off in the perfect setting. The minimizer bra here will give me a great boost to create perfect decolletage for the sweetheart neckline, while giving me the support I need all night. I plan to wear these strappy vine-green peeptoe T-straps from Marc Jacobs. I scored them for a steal at Buffalo Exchange in Chelsea.

Thursday – Sunday:

Day dresses are everything!

I live in dresses, so I packed up my cutest and most vibrant sundresses for daytime. Bright colors and pure white look fantastic against my golden skin and really help me pop in the event photos that eventually make their way to Twitter, liquor brands’ Facebook pages and the industry blogs.

The t-shirt bras will look great under the dresses on the left with higher necklines, while the plunge bra will be perfect for the button-up and wrap dresses on the right.

Saturday night:

This dress practically begged me to take it home from the little Brooklyn boutique where I found it. It’s perfect for the historic Mahalia Jackson Theatre, where the Spirited Awards ceremony takes place. I know it’s something that I won’t see any other woman wearing!

The Spirited Awards is where the industry recognizes brands, bars, bartenders and other professionals who are doing the most innovative things and really elevating the art of the cocktail. Afterwards is one of my favorite events of the whole week, the Plymouth Gin Bartender’s Breakfast. You all know how much I love events that start at midnight (hello, Midnight Brunch!), and this event goes from after the awards ceremony into the wee hours. Looking hot is key.

The bra is a key part of the outfit here. It comes with clear straps that I can convert to criss-cross in the back so they won’t interrupt the lines of this flattering cut and I can show off my shoulders. The keyhole in the back of the dress also means I’ll need to move the straps down, which I can do easily with the low-back converter strap provided with the bra.

In addition to the Marc Jacobs heels, I’ll be wearing an attention-grabbing feather and rhinestone costume ring.

Wish me luck for a productive, fun and successful week. Thanks again to Maidenform for their support of me, my new business and my new wardrobe!

Previous Maidenform Posts:
Maidenform Makes My Boobs Happy
Buying the Right Bra for Your Boobs

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